break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So drunk its hurt
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
