so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
