just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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