"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Ladies don't puke and tell
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize