my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
