i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
