We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
