she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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