omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
