Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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