the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
