One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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