dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
