Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
