I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
