I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize