I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
