He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
