I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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