Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
