Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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