You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
