Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
