i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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