I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize