Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
