i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
