; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
