was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
