I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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