he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize