You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
