I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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