I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
