he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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