Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
