Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize