literally had 100 drinks last night.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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