he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
