just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
