That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
