you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
