That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize