shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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