ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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