ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
