I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize