I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
