But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
