btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Randomize
