is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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