You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
