Duck Duck Cougar?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
