You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Pants are for mortals
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
