Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
